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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870213">Bad Days Aren’t So Bad With You Around</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyTheFancyRat/pseuds/RemyTheFancyRat'>RemyTheFancyRat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, Idiots in Love, M/M, jareds sweet, sometimes Evan just can’t get out of bed and hey that’s okay, taking care of each other, tender love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:27:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyTheFancyRat/pseuds/RemyTheFancyRat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Evans having a bad mental health day and Jared comes to the rescue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bad Days Aren’t So Bad With You Around</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay this one isn’t horrific.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bad days aren’t so bad with you around<br/>
February 25th, 2020<br/>
Evan frowned as he tossed and turned in his bed, just as he had been all morning. His eyes wouldn't stop drooping, his covers smothered him and to top it all off, the sun stung his eyes from the small bit the curtain had failed to cover. He laid there with his arms wrapped around a pillow and his legs curled up. </p><p>    It was a useless cause. He kept laying there and staring. Staring at the walls and at his plants. At his alarm clock and at his computer. His eyes drifted from place to place, no motivation to get up, but sleep had refused to come to him too. Evans eyes stung once again-but the Sun had little blame in this instance. </p><p>     The tears, however, also refused to flow. Just as every other part of Evan refused to listen or do it's job. They only stayed welled up in his eyes-Evan oughta fire them. Though-it was partly his fault too. He put no effort into letting his emotions out. If they stayed locked in or bottled up-whatever term you felt the need to use, then that was a problem for another day. Right now, it didn't matter. Nothing did. </p><p>   He didn't feel the need to think of any insults about himself for not having the motivation to get out of bed or even to grab his phone. He just laid there. In the comfort of his soft bed, without any thoughts or emotions. It's lonely, of course. It feels unreal. Like he was floating out of his body. Watching as his body lay in bed for hours and hours, if he didn't know any better, he could've said that he had passed away in his sleep. </p><p>   What an odd concept that was. To pass away in your sleep. Evan never really thought he'd make it that far. He figured the world would get to him first. Hunger, being homeless, war, suicide. Something. He never saw himself living to a ripe old age. And he'd be lying (again) if he said that thought didn't make his stomach pool up with the torture that's called anxiety. </p><p>     He jumps at the sudden sound-a Christmas song. One he didn't even like that much. And-its literally the middle of April. To be fair, Jared had convinced him to change it around Christmas. He even said he'd let Evan pick a song for his ringtone too, though Evans choice wasn't as cruel. He couldn't really remember what he made Jared as his ringtone. He did remember the little smiles he got every time he heard it and Jared rushed to answer it, though. I wonder if Jared remembered that too? </p><p>   God-Even though right now, he happens to be filled with the unending bliss that is loneliness, Evan truly was grateful no one called him most the time. Save for his mom and occasionally Jared. There was the fact he hated phone calls yes-I mean, he could feel his stomach drop and his heart start to race. He could feel the sweat forming on his hands and his words getting lost on his tongue before he even had the chance to think about saying them. </p><p>   Evan was mainly grateful no one called because of this exact ringtone. I mean, what if his phone had gone off during class? And everyone wouldn't judged him for having a unpopular Christmas song as his ringtone in the middle of April. They all would've stared and people would've snickered and he would've had to go to the bathroom and try his best not to be sent into another panic attack. </p><p>     But to Evans relief, not even his overthinking could give him a spark of anxiety today. Better to feel nothing than to constantly be in pain isn't it? That's the point of painkillers. Or going under anesthesia. Or whatever else they do before surgery. It didn't matter. Again, nothing did. Not right now. Evans mind refused to let him feel any emotions at the moment. Good old depression.</p><p>    He rolled over and reached over for his phone, his hand smacking the desk a couple times before finally feeling his small old phone. It had a few cracks in it-but Evan never minded. He picked it up and called back the only person who ever really called him. Besides his mom, that is. She hasn't been calling as frequently either though. </p><p> "Evan! My good old buddy pal. Where are you?" Jareds voice rang through the speaker. His tone was nothing short of happy go lucky-and though usually he appreciated the sound, Evan couldn't handle more rants about video games or Star Wars today. </p><p>    "Home, Jared."</p><p>    And all at once-his memory abruptly returned to him. He grimaced not only at his rude tone but also over the fact that he had forgotten they were hanging out today. Evan truly felt the need to smack himself. Multiple times, most likely. He was such a worthless friend. He didn't even know why Jared bothered on hanging out with him-even If Jared was a total dick most the time, it hadn't mattered. When they were alone, he started to let his guard down. Make nerdy jokes and tease Evan in actual funny ways. Not just to insult him. It had been really nice and Evan had to go and ruin it because he was so lazy and selfish.</p><p>   "Yeah no i know. I can see you curled up in bed."<br/>
"What? Jared-I thought I took back my house keys."<br/>
"You did. And I took them back after we made up."<br/>
"..Fine. Just come in already then."</p><p>    Evan let the phone drop onto the bed with a quiet plopping noise as he mustered the energy to finally sit up. Jared threw the door open and threw several plastic bags onto the floor. Evan grimaced in return.</p><p>"Plastic kills the Earth, Jared."<br/>
"Oh shut up-I'll eat it myself if you want me to."<br/>
"I mean..it is to save the turtles."</p><p>   And already Evan was giggling. It was a relief-really. He had the feeling if he was alone much longer those thoughts weren't going to improve and he wasn't going to have the motivation to pull himself back. His arms had been rubber band free for awhile-and he truly wanted to keep it that way.</p><p>    He had been trying out a new method that his therapist suggested. Every time a bad thought popped into his head-snap the rubber band. It was supposed to associate those bad thoughts with physical pain so the mind wouldn't send so many but, in Evans opinion all it did was make him feel like a dog. And have very red wrists. </p><p>   "So-I figured you were having another off day when you didn't show up. I mean-I was literally taking you to the butterfly enclosure you wouldn't shut up about." Evan smiled for a brief moment before another whirlwind of guilt struck him. Well-there goes the numbness.</p><p>    Jared had been waiting to take him to do something that Jared didn't even like. Which he made clear several times. But he was gonna grin and bear it for Evan and he couldn't even have the decency to show up. He was such a dick.<br/>
"Uh-speaking of. You..alright?"<br/>
"Yeah-im..fine. I'm fine."<br/>
"Huh. Makes sense. That's probably why your hair is unbelievably messy and your breath smells like it's never met a toothbrush before."</p><p>     Evan immediately rushed to cover his mouth, his cheeks heating up and his eyes widening. Jared cackled and put a hand on his shoulder.<br/>
"Dude It's fine. I don't care." Evans hand lowered, but his efforts were now focused on breathing downwards.<br/>
"I have those dumb mint strips you like. If you don't feel like getting up to uh. Hygiene."</p><p>    And just like that Evans smile was back again. God-Jared was kind of really sweet. Maybe it was just because of pity for how he acted before or-maybe he just wanted to show Evan he cared. But probably the first option. No, definitely the first option. The second option is unrealistic even in daydreams. But..the idea did kind of make Evans heart flutter.</p><p>   "Uhm..Thank you, Jared. You-you didn't have to do this for me."<br/>
"Yeah I know but I'm going for friend of the year. Am I winning?"<br/>
"Jared you're my only friend."<br/>
"Awesome! Then I'm in the lead."<br/>
"And what's the prize for winning exactly?"<br/>
"A blowjob. But I'll settle for hand too."</p><p>    Evans hand immediately retaliated, heading to smack Jared's shoulder for such a comment. It didn't stop Jared's laughter from filling the room and-god Evan kind of wished he would never stop.<br/>
  The way he doubled over and had to reach out a hand to balance himself from how much he was laughing. The reds in his cheeks and the way his glasses fell down his nose if ever only slightly. And all of it from a dumb sex joke. </p><p>   "Anyway. I would say I brought you some movies and snacks like some cheesy friend thing in the movies but I know your house is stocked for the two of us. But I did bring one thing-" Jared paused for dramatic affect Evan assumed. God-What a dork. Jared's smile mirrored his own.</p><p>   "It's my Netflix password. I brought my Netflix account. So get your computer! We're watching some movies. Or shows. Whatever boats your float."<br/>
"You ruined it."</p><p>A pause. Something didn't add up there..<br/>
   "Wait-what's in the bags then?"<br/>
"Hm? Oh those. My dildos."<br/>
    "Jareeeeed." </p><p>  Another giggle in response. Jared hopped up and went towards the bags, digging through each one.<br/>
   "So like-you didn't show up and I was like, well the least I could do is get pamphlets or something. But then I got dragged into the gift shop. And they actually had a lot of cool stuff."<br/>
"Jared-you know I don't like you spending money on me."</p><p>  "Literally whoever said it was for you?"<br/>
Evan groaned and Jared once again, chuckled. It was short lasted and quieter than the rest, but long enough for Evan to appreciate that Jared had shown up. And spoiled him even though he couldn't even send a text saying he couldn't show up. </p><p>   After explaining nearly every object he decided to buy, Jared hops on the bed. He was close, a lot closer than he usually gets, Evan noticed. Close enough that it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to just wrap his arms around him and bury himself into his shoulder. Or to reach over and hold his hand, intertwine their fingers and make a joke about his sweaty hands. Or even just to lay his head on Jared's shoulder. </p><p>    It wasn't weird that Evan had a crush on Jared. I mean, unless you're homophobic and think liking the same gender is unnatural or whatever. But it made sense. Jared has been Evans only friend-his best friend, for at least a decade now. And he was sweet and was actually really funny when he wasn't being a dick. And god, smarts don't matter of course, but that boy was truly one of the smartest people he knew. Effortlessly too.</p><p>    He debated a thousand more times on simple touches and-holy shit he was touch starved. Finally, he settled on 5 short words. Not really settled-they spewed out of his mouth really. Evan couldn't even say he was mad this time. He's fucked up so many situations but blurting things out or doing things on impulse. With Jared though? Evan felt like he didn't need to worry about it. </p><p>   "Y'know, im real sad today."<br/>
"Yeah-yeah no i figured. Are you ready to-do you want to talk about it?"<br/>
"I just-I feel useless, Jared. Like even if people care about me it wouldn't matter because they'd get over me so quickly it wouldn't matter. And I feel like I'm not funny or smart or-or attractive or kind or sweet and I just-like I have no redeeming qualities."</p><p>   Word vomit. It was everywhere-bouncing around the room. Hitting every corner and every wall. Echoing, even. It didn't ache like it was supposed to. No tears came to his eyes. In fact-Jared seemed more upset with Evans words than Evan did himself. </p><p>   "Oh Evan. You aren't..I'd never get over it. And I mean-you probably aren't funny to everyone but that's only because you get nervous. But here with me? You're hilarious. And you're beyond sweet-because of your anxiety or not. You're a good person Evan. And I'm not into dudes-but objectively pretty good looking."</p><p>   "Well-Thanks. I'm not really..upset I guess. Just sad."<br/>
"That-makes sense I guess. Not really."<br/>
"It's alright-you don't need to understand it."<br/>
"Yeah. I don't. But I'm here alright?"</p><p>   And with that their hands interlocked. Evan had a small smile painted onto his face as he leaned down. Tired. Very tired-despite laying in bed all day. His mental breakdown had happened-without actually happening, he guessed. He got lucky. With-today being a bad day turned okay, and with Jared.<br/>
"Hey, Jared?"<br/>
"Yeah bud?"<br/>
"Don't call me bud, we're holding hands."<br/>
"Yes Evan?"<br/>
"Uh..Thanks."<br/>
"Yeah-Of Course. Least I could do for a pal."<br/>
"..Give me my hand back."<br/>
   "Wait no-"</p>
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